Meraki Healing Center, PLLC

While I wrote this days before my birthday, I incorporated words from things l wrote earlier in the year that corresponded with various learnings from the time. Looking back now, I can see where l’m still in the depths of some of those lessons, but far more often I feel on the other side of the struggle I reference. How grateful I am for that to be true. I really mean it when I say ✨ better days are ahead ✨. If you’re in the depths of it, I see you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for being a part of my story 🌠🦋🫧.

This year saw me through new beginnings, new jobs, new injuries, new goodbyes, new appreciations. It feels pertinent to highlight a few key moments that have contributed to the growth experienced in 2024; a way to honor the versions of me that are forever shifting & learning how to embrace the paradox of this one wild & precious life.

At the start of the year, I accepted a job that has – beyond any measure I could ever fully articulate – shifted my entire worldview, forever. I wish that were an exaggeration. But as a result of the dark realities that I learned about in week one (IYKYK), I was introduced to the most resilient humans I have ever met – & I promise, will ever meet – in my life. There is no greater honor than to sit with them & hold the privilege I do of bearing witness to their stories. I try my best to not take it for granted. Damn, is this work living proof that the heavy & light so deeply coexist. I am changed every single day.

My first time on the mountain this year would also be my last (!not forever!), & that injury has done 👏🏼 some 👏🏼 damage 👏🏼 let me tell ya. But the recovery process has also been a brutiful reminder of the importance of listening to myself & my body. All the advice & well-intentioned words of wisdom from others hold no weight to the wisdom from within. The truth that my system knows what it needs, & it will make those needs known – louder & louder until I am forced to listen – is something that I am still a humbled student of (& likely will be for a long time to come 🙃). Healing is not linear. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Who knew I needed to be reminded that this applies to physical injuries, too ❤️‍🩹

I met beautiful people & deepened lifelong friendships this year. I went on trips & visited places that make my heart happy & I hung out with people I love in the cities that I love. I listened to music & stories that transported me, comforted me, spoke to me, floored me. I spent so many glorious days awe-struck & SO grateful for the humans – big & small 👶 – who have no idea how much life they breathed into me, how much their presence was the only healing balm I needed; especially during the times when, despite my struggle to admit it, I couldn’t have needed it more.

I cried many tears this year (just ask my Spotify wrapped). I felt lost in ways I’d hoped I wouldn’t feel again, felt confused & sad & alone in ways I’d forgotten I could feel. I grieved the ends to things I was in denial I’d ever fully let go of. Still am, I guess. I was reminded of how painfully hard it is to say goodbye before you’re ready, before feels fair, before the end of the story. How it often results in trying to hold on, just a little bit longer, a little bit more, willfully ignoring the aches that led to the current necessity of letting go. We can choose to cherish the magic of what was, without continuing to diminish the truth of what we (now) know we need.

I was reminded of how jarring & guilt-ridden the growing experience can be. How isolating & unglamorous it is. And through that, I was shown how fervently the people in my corner show up for me, shining light on what has always been true & will continue to be true: a chapter ending is the only way a new one can begin. No matter how “good” or “bad” it was, you will eventually have to turn the page & open yourself up to the possibility of whatever comes next. The reality is you have no idea what the ending will look like, or when it will come. All you can control is how you choose to show up, & who you choose to be, along the way.

Damn, what a big year it was. I feel full of life as I write this in ways that, I’ll be honest, have NOT been true of most days this year. I feel so deeply aware of the gift of being alive, being here, being with you. So deeply grateful for the people who remind me of the beauty on the days when I only see the darkness. Who show up & help shape my life without even realizing they’re doing it. Who ground me when I get sucked into the vortex & forget which way is up. Because at the end of the day, it really is about the company you keep. We need other people, and who those people are m a t t e r s. Invest your energy & time wisely – that includes, especially, into yourself.

Cheers to being in the now. To recognizing the mundane moments & subtle shifts that are (often silently) creating the building blocks for a life well lived. While I am embracing the turning of the page & am SO looking forward to welcoming the new year, I am holding close the cherished memories of this closing chapter. I am in no rush to get to the ending, & this is exactly where I want to be. Right here, right now, appreciating this one wild & precious life, open to the possibility of whatever comes next. Thank you for being a part of my story. Thank you for being here. 💝